I don't think I've ever really understood the meaning for blogging. I've always had problems expressing my feelings, whether it be spoken or through words, but yet I still do it. I guess I like to punish myself because I know that once I start something I need to carry on with it. So, I'm a glutton for punishment? Eh.

Over the past few months I've been trying to get my life back into order. It's a tough process and when I think I'm doing great, I end up failing and realizing that it's all a downhill battle. I've been suffering from depression for a year now, though at times it seems like an eternity. I can't remember the last time I was truly happy with anything. Writing and making graphics no longer seem to matter to me, I've become the world's biggest procrastinator, and I seem to be drawn into drama that I neither want nor have truly been any part of. I think if I were to escape all the meaningless drama crap then I'd be fine. Who knew online life could be filled with more drama than my actual life?
I'm going against what my work likes.

Today our company issued a company-wide letter where each employee must sign it stating that we will not talk about anything regarding our company. Personally, I think this is bullshit. I don't like that I am being forced to keep my mouth shut, especially if situations at my work have pissed me off. It's not as if I'm naming names and being fucking specific about vents that've transpired there. However, seeing as I was basically threatened with my job if I refused to sign the letter, I signed it. Oh well.

On the flipside, RPG drama is fucking crap. People who are no longer on my site are trying to act like they're still there and like they have a say in what me and the other admins do. Lost a good friend through all of this, too. It reassures my belief that 3/4 of this planet's population is retarded.

One of my friend's is in the hospital. He's been sick since last Thursday and finally went to the hospital last night. They admitted him last night, as well, and now we're waiting to hear back on what's wrong. I hope he's okay. :\

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags